Judy Campbell, my mother-in-law, raised nine children, all of whom went on missions except one daughter, all of whom grew up to get married in the temple and become hard workers in the kingdom of God. She has many wonderful tried and true ideas and much wisdom from her many years of experience.
Here are her thoughts on discipline, giving children attention, and family vacations:
Question: You have raised nine children who all turned out to be very hard workers with good self-discipline. What are your philosophies on child discipline? I believe in the philosophy of High control, High support. You have to teach your children to obey. You do this with love, not anger. Think of yourself as a teacher, instead of someone who criticizes.
Children need to learn to control their bodies so they can control themselves in school for their teachers and in society. Ultimately if they don’t learn to obey you, they won’t be able to obey Heavenly Father’s commandments. You also have to give them lots of love and support. But giving them lots of love without discipline is not love. It won’t help them succeed in society or in the kingdom of God. The best book I ever read on the subject and that sums it all up is 
No: Why Kids--of All Ages--Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It by David Walsh, PhD. That is a book every mother should read.
Question: How were you able to make sure each child received the attention he/she needed?
I considered motherhood and homemaking to be a full time job. Although I always had responsible church callings that required time and effort, I didn’t have demanding interests outside the home. I didn’t join the chorale until Gillian (the youngest) was four, and our main social contacts were with extended family.
I made myself available to the children, and related to them as I was working around the house. I certainly read them stories daily, but did not directly play with them very much. Rather I talked to them and listened to them while I was doing the million things there are for a busy mother to do. The little ones followed me around the house talking, and I guess the bigger ones did, too. We told stories, had hugs, discussed problems, sorted out conflicts, exchanged views on the state of the world and everything else, all while performing the normal tasks that keep a household running.
Eating meals together was not just a priority for us, it was a rule, parents included. We set every meal on the table in a formal way, with a place setting for each person, food put in serving dishes, and a prayer that was said before anyone ate anything. I’m not saying that the meals were FORMAL, just that they had form in time and space. That way we parents could direct the conversation, give each child a chance to contribute, and work on family unity. Our children were not allowed to graze in the kitchen. Meals appeared on an a regular schedule, with a specific snack time between meals. That way we all came to the table hungry and were more likely to eat the nourishing food provided. As the children grew older and developed outside interests, this remained a family rule, and outside activities were judged partly on whether they would interfere with family meals. When Tamsin started early morning seminary, we all arose and dressed in time to eat breakfast with her before she left. Gaylon made mush while I got the littlest ones dressed, and our table setter and dishwasher cleaner-outer did their jobs to make this possible. We maintained that schedule through all the years we had kids in seminary.
I have heard mothers say, “My children are my jewels.” That is certainly how I feel about mine. And because they are and were my jewels, I wanted them to look the part. I fixed their hair, provided them with clean, well-fitting, attractive and appropriate clothing and insisted they wear it (and not any old rag they happened to be fond of). I think this care gave them self confidence and let them know how much I valued them. Children who are not well groomed and dressed may be thought of as dull and therefore ignored or not challenged by their teachers. They are not sought after by their peers, either. If they look bright, their teachers and friends are more likely to believe they ARE bright, and will treat them accordingly.
As regards giving children one on one attention, that was not so much planned per se as it was a result of the over-all plan. Both Gaylon and I were focused on the children and on their needs. We were emotionally involved with them and made ourselves available to them. They had jobs and responsibilities and were integrated into the running of the household through the contributions they made. Therefore we attended to one another in a normal way that didn’t require special set-aside time dedicated to that purpose. Our children also developed strong bonds with each other which persist to this day.
Question: I know you had a wonderful tradition of taking family vacations which taught your children and brought them closer together. How did you do it with all those kids?
We have traveled all over the country with all ages of children. Except for going back and forth from Pullman to Utah, our first really long car trip was from Pullman to Augusta Georgia when we had daughters 3 1/2, 1 3/4, and 5 mos. We did this in seven 500 mile days with a couple of days' stopover in Utah, all before the advent of disposable diapers! Since that time, I haven't been afraid of any trip with children. We have taken a long family sightseeing trip nearly every year, as well as traveling often to see relatives in Utah.
I think success traveling with children depends somewhat on your general way of dealing with your offspring. If you follow a regular routine with defined mealtimes, snack times, nap times, and bed times, adhering to that schedule as far as possible when traveling will make it easier. Also, if the children watch little TV and therefore know how to entertain themselves, this ability will carry over into their travel time.
For very young children, take favorite toys that can be enjoyed in a stationary position such as wind-up music boxes, squeaky toys, things to hang above the car seat, things to chew on, indestructible books, etc. It also helps to hide the things for a week or so before the trip so they can be "new", or to have some truly new things that have been saved for the trip.
For children a bit older, tapes with children's stories or music, stories for you to read aloud to them, picture books according to age level, travel games, coloring and activity books, little cars, etc. are helpful. I often found it beneficial to keep these things myself and bring them out as needed, rather than just handing the kids a box of "stuff".
Children of any age can be distracted with your singing songs, telling stories, or pointing out things of interest along the way. As I’ve grown older, it's been hard for me to get over the habit of noting aloud every horse, cow, sheep, train, etc. as we go along! As our family grew, the older children helped with entertaining and caring for the younger ones.
Since I don't get car sick when reading aloud, I have read many interesting books to the family as we traveled. If at all possible, we choose a book that is set in or deals with the area in which we are traveling, for instance the biography of Jacob Hamblin when we were in southern Utah, Johnny Tremaine for the Boston area, a condensed version of Lorna Doone when we were in Cornwall in England, etc. This really makes the countryside come alive for the whole family, and I have read recently that Pres. and Sr. Hinckley's family did the same thing. Since our children were used to being read to at home, they were attentive doing so while we traveled. Books on tape would also serve this purpose.
We have also worked on things we wanted to memorize, such as the song with the alphabet backwards, the Greek alphabet, state capitols, world capitols, etc. Gaylon will often give geological descriptions of how the landscape through which we are traveling was formed. We have favorite oral travel games, such as dividing into two teams and seeing which can get through the alphabet first, taking the first letters of words on signs on one side of the road. We also play 20 Questions, I Spy, etc. Traveling is also a time when we can discuss important church doctrine, moral issues, political thoughts, etc. with just one child or with the family all together.
Snacks have a place in keeping people happy while on the road, but constant eating is tiresome, satiating, and spoils meals, so I save snacks for a strategic time when they will do the most good.
We have developed an efficient way of travel to minimize the time spent on the way. We start very early, eat dry cereal for breakfast while drinking milk from lidded cups, and also prepare a lunch to eat in the car. If the time schedule allows, we may stop and picnic in a park at lunch time for a rest. Supper is a simple hot meal in the campground, probably out of a can. We carry water for drinks and paper towels for clean-up, and keep potty stops to a minimum, sometimes even carrying a porta-potty in our van for extra efficiency. Some of our little ones suffered from carsickness, so medications for that, plus stuff for cleaning up had to be included.
When we had small children, Gaylon and I traded off driving so each of us could have a rest from dealing with the kids.
In my experience, on long trips there came a time when the baby or toddler would give up and just feel like howling no matter what I did. We are living proof that travel can be borne even under that circumstance, and that no lasting harm resulted when we had to keep going in spite of that loudly stated childish opinion that we should do otherwise.
Now that most of our children are grown, we find that their memories of family trips are very important in their recollections of their growing-up years. All the planning, hassle, effort, (and expense) must have been worth it!
